


even if i cry, it’s alright

by zhongheart



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Self-Doubt, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but it makes it easier, love doesn’t fix everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 11:51:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14831775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhongheart/pseuds/zhongheart
Summary: “what if that’s not enough?”“it may not seem like it, but it is. love is always enough.”





	even if i cry, it’s alright

“johnny?”

johnny lifted his head as taeil suddenly spoke. they had been laying in bed next to each other, completely silent. he hadn’t been expecting taeil to speak, had even thought he was asleep.

“yes?” he turned over to look at the boy, just to see him already facing his way. their eyes locked as taeil went on.

“what if being me just isn’t enough?” his eyes were wide and after he said it he looked away from johnny’s face and started playing with his hands. that had always been a habit of his when he was nervous. johnny couldn’t quite comprehend what he had said. all he had ever thought about taeil was that he was the most precious person in the universe, and extremely talented. the statement took him completely off guard.

he furrowed his eyebrows and took taeil’s hand. “what, exactly, do you mean?”

taeil just lightly shook his head and pulled even further away from johnny. “nothing. just forget i ever said anything.”

johnny was stuck inside his head for a minute. why would taeil think something like that about himself? he was the most amazing person johnny had ever met, and he deserved everything. no matter what anybody said, johnny would never think taeil was anything short of perfect.

he finally decided what to say. “no, taeil. i won’t forget. what’s wrong? why do you think that?”

“i-i don’t know. sometimes i just wonder why i’m even here. all of you guys are so talented and i’m just me. even the fans think so. have you seen some of the things they say? they think i don’t belong in nct. what if they’re right? you guys will keep getting bigger, and what if i just fall behind? surely sm will just drop me, they don’t need me.”

as he went on, johnny was speechless. never since he met taeil did he think that he had any doubts about his talent. he knew that taeil had problems with keeping up with everything sometimes, but never to the extent of this.

when he was finished, he looked down in shame. at this time, johnny wished the room wasn't so dark, so he could see taeil’s face clearly. the room went silent once again and the small thuds on the dorm from the newly falling rain became apparent, and johnny thought about how everything in this moment was wrong. taeil didn’t deserve to think that way about himself. he deserved to feel happy and proud of everything he’s done.

“i’m obviously not the best at inspirational speech, but i need you to understand this. you are incredible. not to be rude to anyone else, but you have the best voice that i’ve ever heard. sure, there are fans who say things that are totally untrue, but there are also good ones who love you and care about you.”

johnny looked at taeil as he lifted his head, only to see him with tears in eyes, one slipping out and running down to hit the pillow. “what if that’s not enough?”

“it may not seem like it, but it is. love is always enough. and there are so many people who love you. the fans, the members, your family. everyone.”

taeil didn’t move, just let more tears fall. it broke johnny’s heart to see the boy in that situation, and he felt the need to do something.

“me.”

he looked at johnny’s face with wide eyes and a shocked look on his face. “you love me?”

johnny reached down and wiped some of the tears off of taeil’s face, in some kind of effort to make him feel better. “i love you so much, moon taeil. that’s why i’m here with you right now. i really don’t know if this is going to change anything, but i hope it does. because i love you and it hurts me to see you hurting.”

in that moment, johnny felt no regret. he didn’t care what the consequences would be, because taeil smiled. he looked up at the boy who just poured his heart out, and he smiled so wide even the sun couldn’t outshine him.

“it does change things, because i love you too. i’ve loved you for so long that it hurts. but it doesn’t fix everything. i still feel insecure, and i hope that’ll change. i really hate feeling like this, but i do,” he fiddled with johnny’s hand and scooted closer to him.

“i know you do, and i hope it’ll change because i love you. god, i love you! you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to say that.”

taeil didn’t say anything, just buried his face in johnny’s chest and snuggled into him. the silence once again overtook them and the storm outside became apparent. but this time, it didn’t feel wrong. it felt right. it felt right because they were going to work through this together, and things were going to get better.

**Author's Note:**

> so, this is my first little drabble i’ve ever posted. it’s short, but it was meant to be. i’ve always been insecure of my writing, so this was a big step for me. tell me what you think.


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